(Satire)
By Lance Luther:
Ever since Sep. 11th dropped two skyscrapers worth of headaches on our heads and the roar of atheists have clamored for the blood of violent Christians and Muslims ever since, we religionists have prayed every day for a target that we could answer back in kind to.
The good lord has provided us with that target.
Before the smoke had even dissipated on a Tuesday in February, and well before the details came in, my fellow traveler Elizabeth Stoker Bruenig made us all glow with newborn pride by writing ‘The Chapel Hill Murders Should be a Wake Up Call to Atheists‘ for The New Republic. You should read it and come back. My heart still burns with self-righteous vindication; there really are atheist extremists! Never mind the disgusting way the author (and a small army of others–can you say praise the Lord!) uses the murder of three young Muslim students (of Arab descent), two of them newlyweds, to get a dig in on atheists before anything was known about the facts, that can be safely ignored, my friends. After all, it’s worth it to finally get a chance to kick some smug faces in.
I completely agree with the authors contention that atheists are all Satan-worshiping male children (um, except for my esteemed colleague prof. Squawkins of course), never mind the robust feminist atheist community out there, and never mind the average age of every well-known atheist thinker since the Enlightenment (maybe the author should peep the author photos of near every atheist author). And yes, everybody knows that Christians hate atheists–but YES! WAKE UP CALL you kiddy atheists! Maybe now you’ll stop kidnapping christian children and sacrificing them along with she-goats to the Devil.
As details emerge about this atheist scumbag, we find that…uh…he was a gun collector overcome with rage over a parking violation…and victim Deah Barakat’s own brother said that Craig Stephen Hicks never made any kind of anti-Muslim comments during said ongoing feud…and his wife flatly rejected any religious motive for the slayings and that Hicks was vocal about equal rights for all as well as irreligion, and even the New York Times isn’t falling for the ‘hate crime’ theory.
um, maybe we should just forget about this one. If we keep it up, atheists could blame any murder on Christians or Muslims, since overwhelmingly, a killer would probably identify themselves as one of the two and since motive seems so irrelevant to authors like Bruenig, why should it be relevant to atheists?
If we keep writing articles like this one after the evidence has come in, us Christians and Muslims will just look stupid.
Lance Luthur is writing the sequel to his groundbreaking (but unfortunately lost in a pig-ditch in a Kentucky field) manifesto. It will be entitled, ‘The Lord’s Anger and You: How to Stamp Out Christian Liberalism Within Your Own Communities While Kicking Out the Catholics and Bringing Back Tammy Faye and Other Important business”.
He plans to nail copies to the White House door, Pat Robertson’s Studio, and the Pope’s Lavatory. This time he swears to use a longer nail…
C.A.A.C.A: Christians and Atheists Against Creeping Agnosticism 
Awesome post! Like++
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Thanks! You know what bugs me the most about this? Other Atheist bloggers are saying things like, “I’m in no position to Judge whether this is religiously motivated or not (Heather of Heather’s Homilies,’ which I love), or “please don’t comment that this isn’t a hate crime. You don’t know that” (I’m para-phrasing Jerry A. Coyne over at ‘Why Evolution is True,’ whom I also like–he does seem to have decided that it wasn’t a R.M. crime in recent posts).
No, no, no. It should be the DEFAULT position that this is not a hate crime when there is absolutely NO evidence that it was. That Hicks did what most atheists do (criticize religion) is NOT evidence that the crime was R.M. any more than church service would render another’s crime automatically also so motivated. That some atheists actually allow the “wait and see” attitude might mean well, it’s also playing right into the hands of apologists. Don’t fall for it. ONLY if there is positive evidence of it from the beginning, should the fall-back position be a religiously motivated or hate crime.
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I posted on this. So what if there is an atheist killer? It doesn’t matter. Truth is nobody really cares. It’s like saying there is a killer who never wore green. As you say, assuming this is a crime motivated by X is useless until you know exactly what motivated it. I can get behind some rage over people stealing parking spots though no murder. Now they say that the father hosted ISIS related speakers at their mosque. It’s going to be a mess figuring it out and in the end who cares? Nobody. All they care about is how it makes them look. Fuck all of them.
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A priori ce n’est pas 3 contrôles manqués, c’est 3 manquements à l&;oiuorsbligatqon de signaler où il est. C’est quand même assez différent.
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Okay I’m convencid. Let’s put it to action.
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(WAKE UP CALL you kiddy atheists! Maybe now you’ll stop kidnapping christian children and sacrificing them along with she-goats to the Devil.) Dude??#
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Heh. This blog has three ‘characters’; myself, a fundamentalist, and an ‘angry atheist’ (it’s partially a satire site). I’ve taken to marking the posts with satirical or parody content as such, like I did in this one.
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Nice of you to share your thiught.
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What a joy to find sooneme else who thinks this way.
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So posso dizer uma coisa… Deus sabe o que faz!!!Te fez perfeita, com uma inteligencia inesgotavel!!! Pessoas pequenas e infelizes sempre vao existir em nosso caminho e serao justamente essas pessoas que mto irao precisar de vc!!! e o seu retorno sera abençoado na vida de cada um deles!!!Jamais desista!!!
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You’ve got to be kidding me-it’s so trtnapsrenaly clear now!
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